You know the type. You’ve been dating him for months, years or, perhaps, you even married him. In the beginning he seemed to have an adoring relationship with his mother. He went out of his way to do loving things for her. He seemed to dote on her.
Time passed and you noticed the occasional rolling of the eyes from him behind his mother’s back and there was the comment that he made quietly under his breath and perhaps a deep sigh or two. At first you think it’s your imagination, but then as it becomes more frequent, it’s impossible to ignore.
You finally realize one day that, in fact, your beloved actually detests his own mother. How could that possibly be? How can a grown man actually hate the woman who brought him into the world and raised him? You are baffled, yet it is your reality. Now what? How can you possibly have a healthy relationship with a man who hates the most fundamental woman in his life?
You analyze the situation and come to the conclusion that he picked you because you seemed to be just the opposite of his mother. Appearance wise, you two couldn’t be more different and maybe your lifestyle and habits are at opposite ends of the spectrum. But, what he didn’t know was that subconsciously he chose someone with a fundamental personality just like Mom. Realizing this, you wonder if you are doomed to be detested by your mate just as his detests his mother.
There are traits about your personality that begin to annoy him and he lets you know how much it bothers him. Maybe you pick up one of his mother’s habits or hobbies and he becomes incensed that you suddenly do something that reminds him of Mom.
You may point out to him that he doesn’t like the idea that you’ve started playing tennis because his mother was a champion player. He denies this, having no idea what tricks his subconsciously is playing on him.
Is there any hope for this relationship? Research shows that there is hope, but only if the man is willing to resolve his mother issues in therapy. If he is unwilling, you have a choice to either get out or accept the fact that you are in for an increasingly controlling and difficult time with your partner. Do you really want to spend your life with a man who fundamentally hates women?