When we have a conflict in our lives, it is easy to see where other people are at fault. But we tend to overlook what our part is. The actions that we took that led us here. In my experience, there are a five steps you must take to see your part. When you can do this, you can clearly see what your part is and you can begin to change those behaviors. Therefore avoiding this conflict in the future.
1. Cease Fighting
The first thing you must do is to cease fight people places and things. Doing this will allow you to focus on what is going on. The problem is simply a distraction; you must look deeper.
2. Step Back
Stepping back means looking within yourself and taking an inventory of sorts. If you are constantly throwing energy around outside of yourself, you are not keeping any for yourself. Step back and reserve your energy for the changes you need to make.
3. Write It Down
Doing some writing on the topic is a priceless tool. Make lists, charts and any visual aid necessary. Doing this will allow you to see what your part is. It will also minimize any denial by making it real.
Do not beat yourself with the things you have done go wrong. Accept that these are behaviors you have had. Become willing to change them and move on.
The final step is to acknowledge that you have a part. Make amends to those you have wrong and make a choice daily to not partake in that behavior again.