I tried to stay as drug free as I could through this phase of non-stop publicity. I fell off the wagon only a handful of times. When I fell, I fell, hard. It was during this period I tried heroin for the first time. I can’t really tell you how or why I turned in that direction except to say I couldn’t get a hold of any cocaine. My dealer Pinky (he had pink hair, go figure) told me this would be better and get me higher. It was a different feeling, more intense and would get me through the long tedious days and nights. I didn’t shoot, I snorted; same with cocaine. I don’t like needles even though I sport over sixteen tattoos. It was too much work to make sure everything was sanitized and boiled clean. I would have needed too many components to make ‘the works.’ Needles, spoons, syringes, glass tubes, tin foil, I was too lazy. Pretty poor excuse huh? Would suit me better had I thought I shouldn’t do it because it’s really bad for me but that didn’t cross my mind. Just give me a line on a mirror or a beautiful woman’s ass and I’m good to go. I went over to his place in the Valley on afternoon. Pinky hooked me up with a couple of bags, don’t know how much there was but it was a hefty amount. It looked like coke, clean and pure white. He gave me a choice between the white and brown heroin. Since I had never really seen it before and had no idea that the brown stuff would do I went with the purest of all, white. We sat down on his living room sofa and snorted a line or two together. The high took a couple of minutes to take effect. When it finally kicked in it was like watching a rocket ship taking off. The smooth powder hit my nasal passage, BAM! I was off. I had an incredible burst of ‘high’ and was gleefully happy. It was euphoric though my arms and legs felt heavy, very heavy. I just sat there, leaned my head back against the wall and watched as the room changed colors. Maybe it was just the lighting in the room or my imagination. I couldn’t be sure what was real and what wasn’t. I was hallucinating. That never happened to me before on any drug. It didn’t feel scary or unwelcome. My surroundings sparkled and glistened with bright light and a glow I had never seen. It was almost angelic. I felt an incredible sense of calm and peace. Everything was right with the world. Everyone was beautiful and life was just glorious. My heart rate felt like it slowed to a crawl. Under any other circumstance that probably would have scared me to death. Not this time, I was calm, cool and collected. The high lasted a couple of hours. It probably would have lasted longer had I snorted a larger amount.
I sat in Pinky’s living room in the same position for three hours. I don’t think I moved a muscle. I had always heard about the sickness once you come down and was always skeptical. I thought it was a load of bullshit. Drug counselors just doing what they do trying to bluff people or scare them into not doing the drug. Let me tell you friend, it’s not. I have never been that sick in my life, not even during the filming of my scene in the movie. Once the high was gone I was running for the bathroom to puke my guts up. I mean heaving. I swore all my insides were going to come shooting from my mouth into the toilet bowl. I was sweating profusely and couldn’t stand if I wanted to. And people get off on this shit? How, why? It’s like inviting the worst case of food poisoning you could ever imagine times ten. I wouldn’t leave the bathroom. As soon as I took a step back to walk out I had to throw up again and wound up hunched over the porcelain God. Once I finally put all my insides back in my body, Pinky came into the room, put his arm around me and walked me back into the living room. I placed a cold water soaked hand towel on my head and sat on his couch. I sat there for a couple of minutes regaining my composure. I reached across the table for the bag and dumped more heroin out on the table. I cut another couple of lines for us and proceeded to snort again. The serene effect took hold of me immediately. I took a couple of deep breaths, closed my eyes. I woke up an hour later. It’s a good thing I had no place to be or any press to meet. I would have been a mess. My body felt a little sluggish but I was wide awake. Thankfully there was no sickness this time. I was hooked that quickly. I had never taken anything that made me feel that good. Love and sex couldn’t compare. Love never lasts and is fleeting; cumming is just a momentary thing that only takes seconds. Once you orgasm it’s gone and over until the next time you fuck or do whatever to get off. Heroin, that sweet crystal lady, didn’t know it yet but she was to be my girlfriend, new focal point in my life. For a little while anyway.