The natural ebb and flow of the getting-to-know-you phase can take on many forms. In the early stages, while you and your partner were doing the courtship dance, you may have wanted to focus on your similarities, in order to build a bond. You emphasized your shared hobbies, beliefs, and backgrounds. You both liked the same music, or were both into charity work, or you were both from the same town. Or you may have swung to the other end of the spectrum, and disagreed for the sake of disagreement, in the hope that this would show your partner that you were your own man with his own thoughts. You teased and challenged each other. You disagreed in front of friends. You each tried to gain the upper hand in deciding on where and when you would socialize.
Whatever worked in the beginning, what is needed in relationship is that you keep the flame of masculine-feminine polarity burning. This cannot happen when there is no tension or difference of opinion, or where each party always fully complies with the wishes of the other. Some “distance” is needed between your respective outlooks on life, the world, and the relationship. The worn-out cliche of two opposite terminals of a battery is still useful here. A spark cannot be created or kept alive if the terminals have the same charge. A neutral, “nice” partnership, where you are always agreeing with your partner, or always fulfilling her every demand, is not a breeding ground for lasting passion.
You’re not in relationship to not annoy your partner. Don’t be afraid to be “difficult”. Don’t be afraid to put barriers in the way of a plan or idea if you think it’s in the best interest of the relationship. Don’t be afraid to seek a different, easier, or harder way to do some things in the relationship. Don’t be afraid to state your viewpoint on controversial or taboo topics. Don’t be afraid to turn down invitations to social gatherings the two of you are invited to. Don’t be afraid to take command in the bedroom. Don’t be afraid, from time to time, to use physical affection and distraction to side-step your partner’s objections or questions.
It’s this healthy, spirited dance of differentiation, kept alive by you as the man, which ensures the line doesn’t go slack and the two of you can feed off the flame that gets generated as a result.