Once you’re married, it’s easy to stop connecting with your significant other due to the high pace of the daily routines you’ll find yourself in. So how do you change that? Many married couples will continue keeping the spark alive by dating, or rather having a scheduled date night, but even then date nights may not be enough.
The problem begins when date night becomes routine. “Dinner at the same old restaurant each week will only bring more ho-hum into an already ho-hum relationship,” states Woman’s Day Magazine writer Andrea Atkins. So how do you get out of that rut? Here are five ways to change it and put the spark back where it belongs.
#1 Time It Right
Do you have a weekly date night? If so, the night you choose could be the culprit as to why it isn’t working. The Date Report tells us the day you choose makes a difference. For example, Monday nights may be a better night because it helps to take the mundaneness out of the typical Monday, however by Tuesday night most are gearing up for the rest of the week and won’t have time to really give it the attention it needs.
If date night seems more like a chore than something special, it could be because of the way you’re scheduling it. Rekindle the spark by being more spontaneous. Parenting.com suggest you “go on a date day: Call in sick, drop the kids off at school, and have lunch and a couple of glasses of wine. Engage in silly public displays of affection. Go to a 1 p.m. movie where there’s nobody else in the audience. If date day isn’t in the cards, then stick with date night, but don’t plan anything this time –just get out and go wherever the night takes you.”
#3 Don’t let Anything or Anyone Else Tag Along
Have you ever spent a date night chatting away about how work is going or what the kids are doing at school this week? These regular dinner conversations are fine for when you’re sitting around the family table, but are a big no-no on date night. Date night should be all about the two of you, so why would you let anything or anyone else tag along? Magic Of Making Up Tips suggest that when on a date night: “You want this to be a genuine “feel good” opportunity. Don’t waste that opportunity by bringing bad vibes into the evening.”
Remember how flirting made you feel when you were still dating? Flirting with your spouse can rekindle those feelings all over again. Hitched magazine tells us: “A few small gestures throughout the day can be ongoing, gentle reminders to both of you of the passionate side of your relationship.” Try leaving little love notes in pockets, texting your partner at work to remind them how much you love them, or simply compliment them on how good they still look and how attractive you still find them.
#5 Plan for the Pre-date
We can get very creative when planning our date nights, and it’s great to keep it fun, however we should also plan for the pre-date. Lots of times it’s all about the ‘buildup’, a little teaser as to the nights’ fun can go a long way. A simple way to do that is by dropping hints or little clues as to what is to come. This will help build up anticipation and get your partner eager to participate. If you’re having problems coming up with creative ideas, try checking out some of the suggestions on The Dating Divas, a website dedicated to Date Night ideas.