I was actually blessed to sit in the presence of a reformed bully and get the scoop on why it was that she did the things that she did to other’s. After sitting with her I was able to come to the conclusion that at some point everyone has found themselves in some way or fashion in a similar position in a since. It can be at work, home, school or even on the road.
Considering she’s not an adult we will not divulge you with her name but we will however give her one for the sake of this interview.
Love Mom: How long have you been a bully?
Lenny: Since I were a toddler, say 2-4 I guess.
Love Mom: What made you become one?
Lenny: Well, to be honest I blame my mom and siblings. They used to tell me to go hit people or to go take things from other children or they would pick on me. And I used to witness my mom and her boyfriends fight all the time.
Love Mom: How did that make you feel?
Lenny: What when they would pick on me or when they would make me hit or take things from other people?
Love Mom: Both and them fighting?
Lenny: I don’t know. I guess like I was running them or in control of them or something. But when they fought most of the time my momma won cause she was strong and she would always say that she had to prove her point.
Love Mom: So as a child you began to feel as though you had to have control of things and that hitting on people proved a point?
Love Mom: How did you feel about the other person’s feelings if you hurt them or something?
Lenny: I didn’t I thought that if they cried it proved my point and they learned that if I said something then they had to do it.
Love Mom: So you felt that you had to have control of that person and you had know sympathy for them?
Love Mom: How did you choose your victims?
Lenny: It depended on them. They may have on something I like and I want it. They may have a boyfriend that I like. They may be prettier than me. They may have long hair. People may give them to much attention.
Love Mom: So in other words you were jealous and those you were jealous of you viewed as a threat so you tormented them?
Lenny: I guess you can say that or I just may not of liked them.
Love Mom: Can you tell me about the last person you bullied?
Lenny: Oh, she lived a few blocks by me and she went to school with me. I used to threaten her along with my friends. I beat her up one day after school and afterward every chance I got talked about her. I would call her out in class. Bump into her in the hallway. Curse her. Catch her in the bathroom and shove her around. Spread rumors, whatever I wanted to do. Until I got the results I wanted.
Love Mom: What was the ending result?
Lenny: She moved and I was expelled from school and eventually sent to live with my aunt.
Love Mom: If you could change anything what would it be?
Lenny: I wish that I had counseling earlier so that I could learn who I am and that I’m special the way that I am and I don’t need or have to put my hands on other people in order to get my point across. I also hope to run into her again one day so I can apologize because I was wrong. Oh, now I also help people that get bullied I basically stand up for them and tell the other person to leave them alone.
Love Mom: That’s great and do you still live with your aunt?
Lenny: My aunt has custody of me now.
Love Mom: Why?
Lenny: Because of my being expelled.
Love Mom; Well I hope that everything in life works out for you and that you put this part of your life behind you.
Lenny I am, thank you!
Every state has different laws that are in place for bully’s. But we as adult’s must understand that bully’s are created. A painting doesn’t just appear out of air. It is created with a brush, paint, water and paper. Every stroke is thought of before it is created into a beautiful masterpiece. A scientist is not made into a scientist over night. It took hours of hard work, studying and school to get them there. Before they were there they to were someone’s child and as their parent’s they made the right deposit at the right time in the right season that pushed them (the scientist) into their destiny.
In many instance’s I believe that parent’s also should be held accountable for their child’s actions if they haven’t searched for help for the child. But of course everyone has their own opinion’s. What’s your opinion?