As someone who has been working in the wedding industry for quite a while, I have been privy to hear many couples’ personal engagement stories. One of the best perks of my job as the Content Manager at James Allen, the online engagement ring company, is getting to be a part of their wedding planning process. After the perfect engagement ring has been chosen, they’ll often come back to purchase their wedding rings and enthusiastically share their wedding plans with me. I have noticed more than once or twice a hint of regret from brides when it comes to discussing the bridesmaids. It became clear that these particular brides were in a bit of an uncomfortable situation with their bridesmaids. There’s no doubt in my mind what it all came down to: the bride hadn’t been making enough time for her friends, and the friends grew to resent the bride for that.
How the problem starts:
Girl meets boy. Boy proposes. Girl says yes. Girl calls best friends to tell them she’s engaged and asks them to be bridesmaids.
Let’s call the girl “Marcia”.
Now, at first it all starts out innocently. Marcia’s single friends are genuinely happy for her. However, they start noticing that little by little she barely spends any quality time with them anymore, and she no longer seems to care about anything happening in their lives. When they do see Marcia, it’s only about the wedding – it’s ALL about her, ALL the time. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (Okay, I may have named her Marcia just so I could say that sentence.)
What the problem turns into:
Resentment from both sides: Bridesmaids feel that Marcia only cares about herself; Marcia feels that they’re jealous and unsupportive.
What’s behind the problem:
The bride really just misses her friends and her friends miss the bride.
How to prevent it:
Bride, no one is questioning that this is your moment, your time to shine. Not only is it exciting, but it’s also stressful. You’re emotional, you’re in love, you’re scared, etc. Just make sure that you don’t forget your friends. After all, they’re the people who helped get you to this moment. Who helped you pick out your outfit for your first date with your fiancé? Who listened to you ramble on the phone for hours about how smitten you were? Whose shoulder was there to cry on after that big fight you had? The answer is always your friends. They were there for you before, they’re there for you now, but if you want them to be there for you forever, you better make an effort to keep them around. Show them that you care. Make some time for them alone, without your fiancé. Make sure to show interest in their lives, even though you have Wedding Brain. Give them a thoughtful bridesmaid gift. After all, your wedding isn’t going to last forever, and after the honeymoon phase dies down you’re going to want your friends around. Make sure that that’s still an option.