I have often gotten that look from people when I tell them I was a Psych minor in college. I could brag to them that I know what that look means. It means, “Oh, you wasted your time on a useless degree in college.” It does seem that way on the surface, but my knowledge of psychology has come in quite handy. Although I am in a committed relationship now, I was once out in the game and have seen a lot of guys crash and burn when they could have been top gun!
Whether you realize it or not, there is a power play at work on the first date. When guys come on too strong or dominate the conversation this is not a good thing. A woman will not tend to compete with your ego. When she simply smiles at you and nods the date may as well be over. Instead, try letting her decide where to go for the first date. “Do you have any suggestions for where we should go?” She will feel more comfortable and open in an environment she is familiar with. Letting her have equal footing on the first date also takes much of the pressure off you to perform.
Even when it may seem like she is being very friendly, we guys tend to overestimate her level of romantic feelings toward us. This tends to go both ways depending on the level of attractiveness of the woman. We tend to think a cute girl is falling for us and that the supermodel is getting bored. The secret here is that she isn’t thinking about herself on the first date, she is thinking about you. If those thoughts are good thoughts or bad relies heavily on how accessible you are. Yes! That’s right. Let her in and leave that rebel without a cause attitude at home.
It is not about what you say as much as how you say it. Those catchy one-liners may make her laugh and this can be good. But she will be more pleased to find that she can carry on a conversation with you. We study a lot on speaking styles and how two people engage depends on how easily they converse. We convey level of intelligence, friendliness and even our sensuality within the inflection of our voices and how we speak our words.
So psychology can be a big plus when it comes to the first date. In fact, I typically did not even admit I was a psych minor on the first date. Why reveal my secret to dating success and possibly make her wonder if she is being psychoanalyzed?