Last year I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I was in denial for half of the year concerning my diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. But after experiencing another bout of depression recently, I have since come to terms with my medical condition. I am now comfortable enough with my diagnoses to share my experience with Bipolar disorder to others.
“Bipolar disorder – sometimes called manic-depressive disorder – is associated with mood swings that range from the lows of depression to the highs of mania. When you become depressed, you may feel sad or hopeless and lose interest or pleasure in most activities. When your mood shifts in the other direction, you may feel euphoric and full of energy. Mood shifts may occur only a few times a year, or as often as several times a day. In some cases, bipolar disorder causes symptoms of depression and mania at the same time.” ( mayoclinic.org )
Looking back at my life, I can now see clearly the patterns of my bipolar major mood swings. I can remember the major events in my life that the Bipolar Disorder played a major role in. My most recent major bipolar episode happened a few months ago. The bipolar episode started with my involvement at my home church. Like always, I wanted to get involved in too many things. I got involved in too many ministries and too many events. If any of the ministries or events were to get out of hand, I would not be able to handle it – one of the ministries did just that.
The Bomb Dropped
My home life was in a state of unbalance with my wife and three children. There was a misunderstanding at my house, which erupted in a meltdown – my meltdown. I then told my church that I needed a little time to get myself back together. One of the ministry leaders in a ministry I was involved with decided to release me of my leadership position as a result. After being notified of my release from leadership, I went into major depression.
Down and Up
My depressive state lasted two whole months. I did not want to go anywhere or do anything. All I wanted to do was just focus on my shortcomings and my lack of self-worth. I eventually bounced back up from my depressive state though. In fact, I am feeling pretty good about myself right now. For all I know, I might be feeling really good later and want to join many things again. Thus, the crazy cycle of my Bipolar Disorder continues.