When two women enter into a relationship, the emotional intensity is overwhelming. This fact tends to speed things along by light-years. Hints the old joke about bringing a U-haul to the second date. While there is truth to it, it is remarkably unhealthy and detrimental. Moving too quickly breeds enmeshment and codependency all of which are deadly to relationships. I have gone the U-haul route on occasion and can tell you from experience that it does not end well. Having learned from mistakes, I share now how to avoid the U-haul.
What makes the U-haul stage in a lesbian relationship so tricky is that it usually just happens. You wake up one morning and realize that you’re living together. The first step to avoiding this unpleasant moment is to converse openly. Tell your partner where you are and what you want. Talk at every stage and agree about what the next move is. This act will keep you both accountable and avoid any confusion.
While the urge to spend every waking moment together will probably exists refrain from indulging in it. The best part of beginning a relationship is getting to know the person. If you spend too much together, you will have little to share in quiet moments. Maintaining boundaries allows you to chose to be together. Also, it makes the honeymoon stage last longer and will create a longer lasting bond.
Pace is the most important key to avoiding the U-haul. As I mentioned earlier lesbian move rather quickly in relationships. When embarking on such an exchange, you must first be very clear about how fast you are willing to go. Share this with your partner and stick to it. If you move at a pace, you are not comfortable with it will only produce resentment.