Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years and as you may imagine, I am heartbroken. There is no way that we will ever get back together. I know that and she knows it as well. We are still good friends; just not a couple. The issue is that even when I know that things between us will never get to be the way they were before, I have to admit that I am still madly in love with her. My heart is broken and I need to fix it right away. How can I mend my broken heart without having to sacrifice my friendship with her? I love having her in my life as a friend, but cannot stand the pain that I feel inside of me. Please, help!
If you really want to mend your broken heart, you need to start by staying away from this person, at least for a while until you can look at her and not feel the way you are feeling right now. Wanting to stay friends with your ex shows that you are a very mature person but if having her by your side is not helping you in letting go of the love you fell for her, then I guess is time for you to stay away from her. My questions for you now are these; are you really wanting to stay friends with her just because you want to be friends? Or, are you wanting to stay friends with her because deep inside, you still have hopes that you guys can go back together as a couple? Think about those questions for a moment and see what is that you are actually trying to accomplish by being friends with her. The thing is that is you have hopes that you guys are going to go back together when in fact that is not possible, it will be better for you to get her out of your life completely until you feel is “safe” for you to become friends again. Being friends with your ex is obviously not allowing you to move on with your life or to mend your broken heart. As harsh as this may sound, I guess it is time for you to start working on fixing your heart by getting rid of everything that reminds you of the relationship you had with her, and that, my friend, include getting her out of your life completely if you have to.
Would you like to contact “The Coach” for a quick advice? Send her an email at firstname.lastname@example.org