Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
My wife started going to the gym and out of nowhere, she has developed a strange closeness to her gym instructor. This guy is like 10 years younger than her, but she seems too involved with him. I passed my concerns to her and she thinks that I am overreacting and that I am just acting jealous without any reasons. I do admit that I am jealous, but I do have reasons. She is always in the gym and when she is not in the gym, she is talking about how great her gym instructor is. She does not realize it but she talks about this guy all the time and her behavior is driving me crazy. What do you think I should do? Should I tell her to change gyms? Or, is that a crazy move?
Dear H. T,
If you want to make the situation better, I guess it is time to have another serious talk with your wife and tell her how you really feel. She needs to understand that her closeness with her instructor is bothering you and as your wife, she should take your concerns into consideration and show you some respect. When you talk to her, ask her how would she feel if you were the one with the obsession. Just talk to her straight forward and if you are jealous, make sure she understand why is that you feel that way. When talking to her, make sure you do not sound like you are whining or accusing her of something because that, my friend, will not help you get your point across. The point here is to make her understand that she is hurting you with her behavior and that for the sake of the marriage; her “obsession” with her instruction needs to stop. The truth is that there is a big possibility that she may not even be aware of how weird and serious her behavior is and after you talk to her, she may change her ways. If after talking to her, she continues seen this person, then I guess it will be time for you to decide what you think is best for you. But, before you make any drastic decisions, I will suggest you to go and talk to her and see if you guys can work the issue out in a civilized way. Good luck!
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