Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
Couple of months before I got married, an ex-boyfriend gave me a puppy as a gift for my birthday. Once I got married, I brought the dog to live with my new husband and me in our new home. Everything was fine until my husband found out that the dog was a gift from my ex. He feels my ex giving me the dog was a way of him telling me that he wanted me back. I do not agree with that and I also think that my husband is using that as an excuse to get rid of the dog. He never liked the dog from the beginning and now is asking me to get rid of the dog. I do not want to get rid of the dog but I also do not want this issue to ruin my marriage. What should I do?
To be honest with you, I am not sure why he is taking his frustration on the poor dog if, at the end, whatever happened in the past, is not even the dog’s fault anyways. I do see where he is coming from though. The fact that the dog was given to you by your ex may be making him feel a little out of place. I would ask that before you make any other assumptions, to put yourself in his position and try to see where is that he is coming from. I do not think that getting rid of the dog is necessary but I do believe that in order for both of you to be in peace with the issue, you guys need to have a serious talk and see if you can come up with a solution. I do have to be honest with you and say that if after talking to him, the dog continues to be a threat in your relationship, it will be time for you to decide what is more important in your life; the dog or your husband. But again, before you make any drastic decisions, try to talk the issue out with him and see if you can help him understand that you want to keep the dog not for whom gave it to you but for the actual dog. Good luck!
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