Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
The other day, my husband told me that I seem too comfortable on my own skin and that I need to start taking risks. He thinks that I am always playing in the safe side and that my behavior was causing us to miss some good times with our friends. He said all these because our group of friends are planning a trip to Costa Rica and one of the things they want to do is to bungee jumped out of a bridge. When he mentioned it to me, I immediately said no. As fun as all that sounds, I do not think it is appropriate for me to do that. I am a mother for Chris sake. What if I die while jumping out of a bridge? Isn’t that a selfish thing to do? I am having a hard time convincing my husband that this is a bad idea, but he seems not to understand where is that I am coming from. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to have that kind of fun?
The Boring Wife
Dear Boring Wife,
No, you are not being unreasonable and your husband shouldn’t be pushing you to do something that you don’t want to do. I do agree with him about you needing to have some fun in life, but the thing is that “having fun” should be a person’s choice not an obligation. You can have fun doing things that you know you will enjoy, and if jumping out of a bridge isn’t your definition of having fun, then he needs to understand your decision and respect it. You guys can still go on the trip with your friends and on the day the group goes to do the bungee jumping activity, you can do something else like going shopping or maybe staying by the pool in the hotel reading a book. If you do that, you can still enjoy the trip with your friends without having to do something that you don’t feel comfortable doing. And, he will enjoy the trip doing the things that he likes to do. It will be a win-win situation. Go ahead and talk to your husband and explain this to him and see what he thinks. At the end, you have to do what you think is better for you and again, if jumping out of a bridge doesn’t bring any joy into your life, then don’t do it.
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