Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
I am very upset with my husband right now, and before I do something that I could regret later, I decided to contact you and see if you can give me some good advices on how to deal with an issue that we have right now. Let me start by saying that I am a stay-at-home mom. Since we have two little kids, we decided that it was best for me to stay home with them. I love the idea of being home with my kids. The issue that we have is that since I am not making any money right now, he makes me feel like I have no say in decisions related to our finances. He thinks that since he is the one bringing the money home, that he should be the one who has to decide what to do or not to do with the money. I cannot even buy a pair of shoes without him becoming all mad about it. I do not think this is fair. I have also discovered that he has been lying to me about our finances. What do you think I should do?
I will say that if you want to fix this situation for once and for all, the best thing you can do is to talk to your husband and let him know how you feel about him making you feel like you have no saying over the finances just because you are not the one bringing the money home. The fact that you are not working does not mean that you are not part of the family anymore. You not working was a decision that both of you made as a couple, and he needs to respect it and support you, but that does not mean that he is the only person who can make the decisions related to your finances or the family. Both of you should have the same responsibility and if he cannot understand that, it may be time for you to make him understand it.
Would you like to contact “The Coach” for a quick advice? Send her an email at firstname.lastname@example.org