Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
My daughter’s best friend died of leukemia a month ago. This has been one of the worst experiences in my daughter’s life. They were very close and up to the last moment, she stood by her friend’s side. The day her friend died, my daughter was at school preparing for her final exams and because of that, she was not able to be with her friend when she died. Now, my daughter thinks that she failed her friend and that she was not there for her until the end. She is heartbroken and I do not know what else to do to make the situation better for her. She does not want to talk to anyone or spend time with her friends anymore. All she wants to do is stay in her room looking at old pictures of her and her friend. I feel really bad about all this and do not know what I can do to get her out of that stage that she is in right now. Please help!
Dear Gloria G.,
The first thing you need to do is to allow your daughter time to grieve the death of her friend. As you mentioned; that is an awful experience and she needs to be able to grieve before trying to move forward with her life. While you wait for her to get ready to continue with her life, show her your support by standing by her side in case she needs a shoulder to cry and by trying to make her understand that, she did not walk away from her friend. The fact that she was not there the day she died does not mean she did not support her; because the truth is that, she did. She may need to hear it from someone else before she starts believing it. After some time has passed, she will start feeling better and will be in a better position to face life again. If after some time has passed, you see that she is not getting any better, it will be time for you to take her to see a professional that can help to find her place in the world again and that can, at the same time, help her understand that what happened to her friend, as sad as it may look, it was God’s wishes and that we have to accept it and continue living.
Would you like to contact “The Coach” for a quick advice? Send her an email at email@example.com