Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
My boyfriend of two years left a week ago for his military training. The day he left, he asked me if I was going to wait for him, and I said yes. The problem is that now that I think about it, I do not know if waiting for him is a good idea. I have heard so many bad stories about girlfriends waiting for their boyfriends to come back from boot camp and when they finally come back, they are not the same person. I really do not want that to happen to me. I love my boyfriend, but I am afraid that the distance will kill our relationship and I end up being heartbroken. He swears that he will never hurt me that way, but I do not know if I should believe him. Any advice you can give me will be greatly appreciated.
The Military Girlfriend
Dear Military Girlfriend,
I have to say that, the decision of waiting or not waiting is a personal decision that you have to make based on what you think is best for you. I understand that other people’s experiences may be having a serious impact in the decision that you have to make, but I will say; stop listening to other people’s past experiences and do what you think is best for you. Yes, there are people who go to boot camp and when they come back, they behave like completely different people. But, there are also people who go to boot camp and when they come back, they are still the same people than they were before. My suggestion for you is that, if you really love your boyfriend and would like to continue the relationship you guys had before we went to his training, to give the relationship a chance and wait for him to see how things go. If after he is done with the training, you realize that things are not the same as they were before, then I guess it will be time for you to do what you think is best for you. But again; stop listening to these people because your experiences may turn out a little different than their experiences and unless you try, you will never know.
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