Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
Couple of months ago, I moved into a new apartment and everything was great until I started inviting friends over. Since the first moment I started having them over, my neighbor has been showing up at the door wanting to spend time with them. This person is not part of my group of friends. He is someone that I met when I moved in and introduced him to my friends as a courtesy. Now, he thinks that we are all friends and that he can come to my apartment whenever he wants to hang out with my friends. I do not appreciate that, and even my friends think that his behavior is weird. I do not want to be rude and tell him to stay out of my business, but he is becoming a very annoying person in my life. Is there a polite way for me to tell this person to stay away?
The New Neighbor
Dear New Neighbor,
Yes, my dear; there is a polite way of saying that, and it is by telling him nicely that you do not appreciate what he is doing and that you would appreciate for him not to do it anymore. If he is an intelligent person, he will get the message. Maybe, he is not even aware on how his behavior is rubbing you the wrong way. Telling him how you feel will be bringing to his attention that whatever is that he is doing, is not correct. The truth is that it is your home and you have the right to have in your home whoever is that you want and if he is not someone that you want to hang out with, you are in your complete right to deny his entrance into your home. He may feel offended at first but he will get over it. You do not have to put up with something if you do not want to. Again, your house is your house and if you do not want him there, he needs to understand that and move on. Next time you have a party and he shows up uninvited, pull him to the side and tell him that you are having a private get-together and that you will appreciate if he leaves. If after telling him how you feel, he still does it, then I guess it will be time for you to take some drastic measures about the whole situation like filing a restrain order against him to make him understand that you are very serious about the issue. Just do what you think is right for you and if keeping this guys to a distance is what you want, then go ahead and do it.
Would you like to contact “The Coach” for a quick advice? Send her an email at firstname.lastname@example.org