Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
My youngest son has been bullied for the past couple of years by the same kid in his school. I have tried talking to the school to see if they can make this situation to stop and every time I talk to them, they say that they will take care of it but they do not do anything. This kid is older than my son and even when the bullying is passive aggressive, it is taking a toll in my son’s self-esteem. I do not think is fair that my son had to deal with this for almost three years now and that the school behaves like is not a big deal. The other day, I got fed up with the issue and told my son to start defending himself from this bullying and that if he needed to be aggressive about it, to do it. When I told him this, he started crying and said that if he does that, he will get in trouble because the bully is a teacher’s son. I know that I probably went overboard with my advice but, at this point, I do not know what to do anymore. I am so frustrated with this situation that I am even thinking about changing my kid from this school.
I can see that you are very frustrated with this situation but I have to say that telling your son to take care of the bully in an aggressive way will not resolve anything and as your son said; it could even cause him more problems than solutions. What I will suggest you to do is to try one more time to get the issue resolved by talking to the school. If after talking to them one more time, you see that they will not do something to make the bullying stop, then I guess it will be time for you to go higher in the food chain and see if the school district can do something about it. In my opinion, however you look at it, bullying is bullying and if your son has been dealing with this situation for the past three years, something needs to be done and it will have to be done right away. If after talking to the school district, the issue continues, your next option will be to file a report with the police so they can issue a restraining order against this kid so he doesn’t get near your son anymore. By doing this you will be sending a message to the school and the parents of this kid that you are serious and that you will do what you think is necessary to protect your son from this bully. Maybe involving the police is what you need to make this situation to come to an end for once and for all.
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