Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her new column “Ask the Coach.”
I just found out that my wife; the person who I have been spending my life with for the past 12 years may be cheating on me. I had my doubts about it, but after reading some of her old text messages (after she left her phone unlocked); I found out that she has been texting regularly with a guy from work. Most of the texts were innocent but there was one that caught my attention. They were basically planning a trip together. When I asked her if she had a trip coming up at work, she said no. Right there, I knew something wasn’t right. I haven’t confronted her yet because deep inside, I am afraid at what she would say or do, and because I am not ready to lose her. But, on the other hand, I can’t just stay with my arms crossed knowing that she may be cheating on me. What should I do? Should I confront her or should I just look to the other side (for the sake of our family) and ignore the fact that I may be the victim of a betrayal?
The Betrayed Husband.
Dear Betrayed Husband,
I completely understand where you are coming from and your doubts about confronting your wife. The thing is that eventually, you will have to do it anyways because you will not be able to live in peace until you do so. Ignoring the issue will not make it to go away. What do you think is going to happen every time she leaves your side? Yes, you will go crazy thinking about the things that she may be doing in your back. That’s not a healthy way of living. Your own thoughts will drive you insane. My suggestion to you is to have a chat with her and let her know that you saw the text messages and that you need an explanation. Maybe things are not what you think they are, but if they are; you need to know. Not only for the sake of your relationship, but also for the sake of your own mental health. Once you know what’s really going on, then you will have a better idea of what is that you want to do about it. Don’t sit around waiting for the problem to go away because honestly; it will not go away unless you do something about it.
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