Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her new column “Ask the Coach.”
I have a very good friend who happens to be gay. She is one of the most amazing women I have ever met in my life. When we are together, she makes me feel like the most important person on earth. We laugh, we talk, and it seems like she enjoys my company as much as I enjoy hers. As you can see; we are very close! The problem is that I think I may be developing strong feelings for her. I am not gay, but I have to say that this woman makes me very nervous when we are together. I have had so many dreams about us hooking up that I am seriously starting to have doubts about my own sexual orientation. Do you think that the stuff that I am feeling means that I am also gay? Should I tell her how I feel?
First of all; let’s talk about your dreams. It is not uncommon for women to have “weird” dreams about other women. It happens more than what you think. I personally believe that having dreams in where you are “hooking up” with other women doesn’t mean that you are, in fact, gay. At the same time; “having feelings” for a person of your same sex may not indicate that you are gay either. It’s obvious that you enjoy this person’s company and she enjoys yours. That’s good! Nowadays, people are so busy dealing with their own lives, that they barely have time to spend quality time with their friends. You obviously have that to your advantage. You should be happy that you found someone who connects with you in a way that makes you feel good. Does that mean you are gay? Probably no, or probably yes. Who knows! My suggestion is for you not to stress over it, and let the relationship flow. Continue enjoying each other’s company, and allow time to show you what course you need to take. If on the other hand, you feel like this situation is preventing you from sleeping at night; talk to your friends about it. Maybe talking to her and clarifying the situation will make you feel much better. Good luck Jennie and remember; “ the important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself.” ~ Gore Vidal ~
Would you like to contact “The Coach”? Send her an email at firstname.lastname@example.org