Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her new column “Ask the Coach.”
I am a 15 year old who for the past couple of years has been having a tiny crush on her tutor. He is a little older than me (he is 21) but he is a great guy. He started tutoring me when I was 12 and we have developed a great friendship. The problem is that I think I am falling in love with him. I love being around him and the way he looks at me tells me that he may be feeling the same way. I am afraid that if my parents find out about the feelings I have for him that they may fire him. I do not want that to happen and that is why I have never said anything to him or anyone, but these feelings are becoming way too strong for me to handle them by myself. Can you help me see what is that I can do about this? Thanks!
Dear Candy Lover,
I think what is happening to you is that maybe you are confusing love with admiration. This person probably has been a strong influence in your life and you have developed feeling for him based on that. Or, maybe you are, in fact, starting to feel love because of the great relationship you guys have had over the course of the years. Who knows! The thing is that he is older than you are and for the sake of the position that he is in (as your tutor), you need to try to keep the “relationship” you guys have as what it should be; a tutor and a tutoree. I agree with you; your parents may not like the idea of you having feelings for him and if they do find out, it may cost him his job. What I will suggest you to do is to talk to an adult that you trust and explain to this person what is going on in your life. If you really think that you are falling in love with him, you may need to talk to your parents and let them know how you feel. I guess that is the most convenient thing to do because unfortunately, if you guys have feelings for each other, the job that he is trying to accomplish as your tutor could be affected because of the way you both feel about each other. The bottom-line here is for you to understand that you are still a child and he is an adult and this situation that you guys are in is a very sensitive one that could not only cost him his job but also that could bring many legal issues to him if your parents feel like he is taking advantage of you.
Would you like to contact “The Coach” for a quick advice? Send her an email at email@example.com