Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
My Husband is in the Marines and we recently moved overseas for him to complete a new assignment. I really love our new “home” but the problem is that I am extremely homesick. I miss my friends, I miss my family, and I even miss the weather. It has been three long months since we arrived to our new “home” and I have not been able to get rid of these feelings. I am currently unemployed and my husband suggested that I look for a job so I could have something to keep myself busy with. I do not like the idea of working right now. This is the first time in 10 years that I can finally stay home and relax and I would like to take advantage of that. Am I making a mistake by staying home, especially now that I feel so alone in this new place?
The Marine’s Wife
Dear Marine’s Wife,
I think that your husband is right, but I will say that if you really do not want to work, then find something else for you to do that could help you keep yourself occupied. What you are going through is completely normal and it happens to almost every single person in your same position. And, the sad part, my dear, is that as long as you guys are in the military, you will experience this again, and again, and again, so you need to establish a plan that can help you deal with it. Get out of the house and meet people, get a hobby, go back to college if you have not finished your studies, etc. The important thing here is not to allow these feelings to control your life. You are homesick and that is something that we, military families, go through a lot, but if you do not get yourself together and start working toward making the situation better, you will stay feeling like that forever and ever, and things will never get better for you or your family. Missing what you left behind is normal, but you cannot leave in the past. Enjoy the new opportunity that you have in front of you because one day you will realize that it was, in fact, a great opportunity and you did not enjoy it because you were still stuck missing your last “home.”
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