Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
I am a 23 year old single woman, and I recently found out that I am going to be a mother. I am not sure how far along on my pregnancy I am, but if I am not mistaken, I am probably 10 weeks pregnant. The father of the baby does not know that I am pregnant and I am not planning to tell him until I am 100% sure that I want to have this baby. This guy and I just had a one-night stand and are in no way committed to each other. I do not know if having this baby is the right thing to do, especially when the father and I are not in a real relationship. Am I being selfish here for not wanting to have this baby?
The Pregnant Woman
Dear Pregnant Woman,
No, do not think you are being selfish. If you are not sure that caring for a baby is what you want right now, you should not be expected to do it. What I do think is that you acted very irresponsible by “allowing” yourself to become pregnant from a one-night stand. There are many ways you could have prevented this and you did not do that. Now, you are facing the consequences of your acts. I do believe that you need to talk to the father of the baby and let him know what is going on. He may want to become responsible for the baby once the baby is born. The truth is that the baby is his baby too and he should be allowed to know that the baby exist. If affect talking to him, you realize that the guy wants nothing to do with the baby, then I guess it will be time for you to do what you think is best for you. There are many options for women in your position and you should start getting yourself educated so that you know what your options are. But, one thing I want you to have in mind is that next time you feel the urges to have a one-night stand, to remind yourself to use protection because today, you are dealing with a pregnancy; tomorrow, you could be dealing with HIV and that, my friend, is very serious business.
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