Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
I wanted to ask you a question. Do you think that having constant dreams about an ex lover means that deep inside, I am still in love with him? The reason I asked you this question is because I have been dreaming about one of my ex boyfriends on a constant basis for the past eight years. This person is no longer in my life and the last time I had contact with him was seven years ago when we said good bye to each other. The first couple of years after we broke up, I was heartbroken, but after a while, I got better and I even got married and had children. He has also moved on and is now married as well. The problem is that I continue dreaming about him and in the dreams, it appears as if I was madly in love with him, which makes me feel bad for my husband. He has no idea what is being going on in my dreams and I am afraid that if I share this with him, that he would think I am still in love with my ex. Why is this happening to me?
The Ex Lover
Dear Ex Lover,
What I think is happening to you is that probably you never had a real closure. Or, it could also be that you still have feelings for this person. Who knows! The thing here is that you need to understand that these kind of dreams are very common and in most cases, very inexplicable so do not worry too much about it. If you are in a loving and fulfilling relationship, I guess your mind is just playing tricks with you. Do not allow these dreams to interfere with your life. Dreams are that; just dreams. Enjoy them but do not let them control your life. The fact that you guys moved on with your respective lives means that the relationship was never meant to be. Just accept that you guys were not meant to be together and continue enjoying your life with your family. At the end, that is what really matters. And again; do not pay too much attention to those dreams because unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to make them stop. Just enjoy them and move on.
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