Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her new column “Ask the Coach.”
I feel like the worst person on earth. I have been married for the past 5 years to a military guy. Out of all those 5 years, he has been deployed twice. He is currently deployed and couple of months ago, while I was trying to survive his absence from my life, I met a guy. We started hanging out as friends, but one thing led to another and we ended up in bed. Our “relationship” was only based on sex and after couple of weeks, we stopped seeing each other. I never told my husband about what happened, and was not planning to ever tell him until I found out that my husband’s sister knew all along what was going on between this guy and I. I am not sure how she found out but now, I am afraid that once my husband comes back from his deployment, she will tell him. I don’t want to lose him and I want to come clean with him, but I am very scared of what he would do when he finds out what I did. Should I be the one who tells him what went on during his deployment? Or, should I just let it alone and see if she doesn’t tell him anything?
The Cheating Wife
Dear Cheating Wife,
I am not even going to dance around the answer for your question. Yes, you should be the one telling your husband what happened between you and that guy. If you were brave enough to do things behind his back, be brave enough to come clean. I can’t promise you that he will like what he hears, or that he will stay with you after you tell him. What I can promise you is that, at the end, he will appreciate more that he heard it from you and not from someone else. Some people think that misery loves company, and that’s exactly what happened to you. The important part here is that you know you were wrong and that you acknowledged that you don’t want to lose your husband over this. Well, my friend; all you can do now is to put your big girl’s pants on and come clean. Once you do, give him the chance to decide what is that he wants to do. Unfortunately, that’s all you can do right now.
Would you like to contact “The Coach”? Send her an email at firstname.lastname@example.org