Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
I am a single mother who, for the past two years, has been spending her life taking care of a job, a kid, and a house. I love my job, my kid, and my house, but I am getting to the point in which I feel like I need to have a social life before I go crazy. While my daughter is at school, I go to work and when she comes home, I am already there taking care of the house responsibilities. Since I do not have a husband at home, all these responsibilities fall under me, which is fine because, again, I love what I do as a mother. The problem is that I would like to have the opportunity to have some “me” time as well, but since I do not have any extra help, going out with friends is basically an impossible thing for me to do. How can I manage to fulfill my responsibilities as a single mother and have some “me” time as well? Is it bad for me to want to do this?
Dear P. N.,
Let me start by saying that no; wanting to have some “me” time is not bad; it is actually a very healthy thing to do not only for you but for your daughter. As you may already know, being a single parent requires a lot of time, effort, and sacrifices and because of this, the chances of a single parent suffering from a burn out are higher than a person who has that extra help at home. What I would say to you is to stop feeling bad about this and see what you can do to get that time off that you are so much in need of. There is nothing wrong for a responsible mother like you to want to spend time with her friends and have some “me” time. If your daughter is old enough, have a chat with her and explain her why you feel like you need some time off from all the responsibilities that you have. The important part here is for her and for you to understand that it is okay for you to spend time with your grow up friends. Just make sure that you find that extra help that you need so your daughter could be taken care of while you are recharging your batteries. One thing that I will suggest you to do is to never leave your kid alone. For her own safety, always have someone in the house watching over her because if you do not do that, you will be getting in a lot of trouble and that is not what we are trying to accomplish here.
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