Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her new column “Ask the Coach.”
I have been in a serious romantic relationship with a great man for the past two years. We had a great life together until, not too long ago, I found out that due to some professional responsibilities, I would have to move to a different country for the next two years. When I discussed the issue with my boyfriend, he immediately said that he couldn’t accompany me because the move would kill his chances of getting promoted to a position that he really wants. He suggested that we continue what we have as a long distance until we can be together again. He seems very in peace with that decision but me, on the other hand, not so much. I am afraid that things will go sour between us due to the distance and that we end up breaking up forever and ever. What do you think I should do? Should I give this “long distance thing” a try? Or, should I just put an end to the relationship now; at least until I get back from my two year trip? Please, help!
The Concerned Girlfriend.
Dear Concerned Girlfriend,
Even when I am very tempted to give you a suggestion on what to do, I will refrain myself from doing so. The reason for this is because this is very sensitive topic and, the truth it that, whatever decision you make could end up being a good or a bad decision. Only time would really tell.
The suggestion that I will give you is to have a serious talk with your boyfriend and explain to him how you feel about him not accompanying you in the trip, and see what happens. The thing is that, if he already told you that he wasn’t joining you and gave you a very valid reason for his decision, the chances of you changing his mind could be very low; but it wouldn’t hurt to try. If your relationship is serious enough and both of you come to the conclusion that the distance wouldn’t hurt the relationship; I guess all you can do is to make peace with it and accept it. If on the other hand, you feel like staying away will not be the right decision to make, then you have some serious thinking to do. Remember, you guys are a couple and the decision has to come from both of you; not only one. So; talk to him again, and see if he would change his mind. If he doesn’t change his mind, then… go on with your life and let destiny take its course.
Would you like to contact “The Coach”? Send her an email at firstname.lastname@example.org