Over the weekend I met up with one of my girlfriends, and she shared the current struggles she was having with a guy she was supposedly “dating.” ( I had to put the word dating in quotes, as she’s not sure if they are actually dating or not.) Listening to her tell me of the very few times he was nice, and the little things he did to make her feel special, I realized that I was not impressed. This guy that she was supposedly “dating” had somehow lowered her standards of what she actually deserved in a relationship. It was as if she was making excuses about why he just couldn’t commit to her, and it saddened me as I saw her convince herself that she was actually okay with that.
It was crazy to witness how one of the most confident, strong, self-motivated persons I know, just shrivel under the circumstances of dating this guy. How is it that we allow ourselves to become “less than,” just so we can find a relationship that gives us “more than” anything we’ve ever deserved?
As I continued to hear her talk about him, I had to stop her in mid-sentence. I told her that I had enough, and needed to speak some sense into her. Below is what I told her, and what I believe all single women (and men) should remind themselves of, when they’re “dating.”
If a guy doesn’t realize that you’re worth keeping after a few dates, then he’s the one not worth keeping.
-You’re fabulous. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts. If it takes him awhile to figure that out, then he’s wasting your time. (And your time is all that matters, not his.)
If you feel like you’re the more romantic one in the relationship, then maybe you should just date yourself.
-You deserve to be pampered, and adored, and if he doesn’t make you feel like a princess, then you may still be kissing a frog.
And if you start making excuses for his behavior, you’re making excuses for yourself.
-When the person wants you, they will do anything they need to, to make sure they can keep you. If he doesn’t make the effort, then you shouldn’t either.
Keep these ideas in mind when you are out there “dating,” so that one day hopefully you can finally take those quotations off, and be in a real relationship.