After a breakup you might feel the need to remain as friends with your ex. I’ve had a couple relationships in my life where that wasn’t an option. Here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t be friends with your ex.
1. It won’t give you a chance to move on.
I can personally say it’s hard to remain friends with an ex and move on at the same time. If the breakup was on friendly terms and you still do the same activities together it’s almost as if you didn’t break up. This can hurt future relationships you may try to have as the new person might think there’s something still going on between you and your ex. This also might make you not even want to try meeting other people if your ex is currently providing all your relationship needs.
2. You might feel jealously when they date someone else.
It’s very hard being friends with an ex when they are now dating someone else. In the past I’ve remained friends with exes on Facebook and other social media websites and I didn’t enjoy seeing them with new girlfriends. Sometimes it might feel as almost if they are posting pictures with their new girlfriend/boyfriend just to make you jealous. It’s not a good feeling at all.
3. You might become dependent on them.
If you shared bills, such as a phone bill or even a bank account, with your ex you both need to each get off these joint accounts and make separate single ones. You will never be independent if you, or even your ex, continues to pay the bills for both of you. When I got divorced I was still on my ex’s phone bill for a couple of months. I felt uneasy about that and now I feel better that I’m on my own cell phone plan where I pay for and am responsible for the entire bill. Remaining on the bill would have just shown that I was still dependent on him. Besides financial reasons you may be dependent on your ex for emotional reasons as well if you two remain friends which again isn’t the best.
4. There’s a possibility of being used.
Unfortunately people may get used when they remain friends with their ex. There’s a couple of ways on how someone could get used by their ex. If you are still having a physical relationship with your ex this can be seen as being used. If you go out with an ex and they pay, or expect you to pay, this can be viewed as being used as well. Sometimes people will not completely break away from an ex if they are still getting things, such as money or having physical needs met, from their ex. If you think you’re being used by your ex you might want to reconsider being friends with them.
5. The past might be brought up repeatedly.
When it all comes down to it you two used to be in a relationship stronger than being friends at one point in your lives. If you didn’t have a smooth breakup but have now decided to be friends again your relationship might not be that great if one of you is not over the breakup. If your history had bad spots in it there’s a chance it might come back to haunt you. If the relationship was once filled with emotional or physical abuse it’s probably the most healthiest for you to just avoid the person all together. You shouldn’t put yourself in that kind of relationship again and even if you are just being friends now. You don’t want to remain friends with someone who has hurt you because this might make them think that what they did was okay.